If you actually let go of the ‘hustle mindset’, that’s often when the magic shows up again. That said, it’s easy to get addicted by it. The good news is that you can change that mindset in an instant if you know how, and train your brain not go there again.
1:05 – What happens in your brain when you’re in the ‘constant hustle’ state of mind
5:30 – Why you may need to breakdown before you break free
11:15 – How to let all the “shoulds” fall away, even for a minute, to get clarity
14:15 –What really blocks the resources and opportunities you most want
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This is Episode 62 – Life Beyond the Constant Hustle. Have you ever stopped the hustle and grind only to find abundance then, and only then, shows up. It’s easy to get lost along the way to success, but the good news is…you can change your mindset in an instant if you know how. Hi, I’m Carla Rieger and you’re listening to the Mindstory Speaker podcast helping speaker, leaders and coaches, enhance their inner game success, so they can thrive and better serve others.
There’s been a culture, for long time now, when you’re a leader, or a business owners, that you’ve got to constantly hustle. You have all these plates in the air that you’re spinning and you have to be keep vigilant, keep spinning,, keep multi-tasking, because if you take your eye away even for a moment, they’ll all come crashing down. Everything you’ve built, everything you’ve sacrificed will be for nothing. And I believe that’s a myth that keeps people in a survival brain state, cutting them off from their higher human gifts. And that if they did reconnect to those higher functionings, not only would they serve people better, they’d be far more successful. But it’s an addictive game to play. People are addicted to the stress hormones of the constant hustle, and the fact that they instinctively know that they’ll have to have a breakdown before they breakthrough. All the plates may indeed need to come crashing down.
So, instead they are driven by this hidden taskmaster, which is like malware in the mind. Some people call it The Tyrant Mind. It’s not the real you, it’s just a program you picked up by mistake or out of ignorance and it’s still in there running the show. And I would go so far as to say that if you want to see a kinder, more just, healthier society, begin by casting out the Tyrant Mind within yourself first and replace it with a benevolent, empowering inner coach. Because the Tyrant Mind says…You gotta keep chasing. You just gotta keep building. You gotta get everything done on your task list or all hell will break lose. People even do that to themselves with life balance and wellness practices. You gotta do the meditation. You gotta do the yoga. You gotta journal,. You gotta spend time with the kids. You gotta go lie on the couch and read the novel. And irony is that if you’re doing those life balance things from the Tyrant Mind, it’s defeating the whole purpose.
It doesn’t matter how many wellness routines you have, if you’re bullying yourself to do them, then it’s not sustainable. If you’re doing something and you’re feeling overwhelmed doing it, then the mindset itself should tell you…you’re not going to get the benefits. And the way the systems of the world are set up, it’s often an ever increasing challenge. You thought your role was challenging before the lockdown, now it’s more challenging. Maybe you’re building a business online, so you’re trying to make really great content, building a list. And all of a sudden the algorithms of one of your social media platforms changes. Now you lose people, you lose business. So you have to hustle harder. Then you feel you must stay abreast of current events, so you must add consuming content to the list. Then you have friends, family members or clients going through a tougher time than normal so you put in longer hours, sacrificing your own needs for their needs, because you should, right, you have to, right?
Maybe you wake up in the morning and think, I should drink some water with lemon in it, because that’s really good for balancing your pH, and I shouldn’t have coffee, but coffee makes you hustle a little bit more. You should also have vitamin D, but maybe it’s better to go outside to get vitamin D but you don’t have time to go outside, so you buy it instead. You have to keep buying things to be well, and then have to hustle more to buy the things to make you well.
We often we forget that everything we do is a choice. Any time you say that you “have to” do something is a lie. You can choose anytime to not do any of it. Yes, I hear the arguments back from my clients, from myself, from those I support. No, you don’t understand the bad consequences that will happen, if I say no. My kids will feel abandoned, my business will fall apart, my peers will judge me, I’ll go broke, I’ll die. But will you really? Will they really? Will it really? Or is that a lie that the Tyrant Mind feeds to you to keep you running faster on the treadmill. Because if you’re fuelled by adrenaline, running on the treadmill, then it’s hard to really tap into wise discernment, to true creativity, to ingenious solutions to your problems and life problems, to truly serve people in the way you were meant to. Maybe letting it all fall apart for a while is the road back to nirvana, to yourself, to the true self, to true harmony, purpose, meaning, to a Golden Age. Maybe staying loyal to that Tyrant Mind is contributing to the problems of the world in a way you may not have fully realized.
Many of us are buried in the idea that somehow doing more equals better. And maybe you’ve experienced that phenomenon of chasing more, more, more, more, more and then you get more, more, more only to find that it’s empty. It’s like the proverbial horse and cart driver who puts a carrot on a stick in front of the horse to keep it moving forward. After a while he realizes real carrots go off, so he gets a plastic carrot, and it still works. So the horse chases the plastic carrot, going miles and miles and miles. One day the horse driver isn’t paying attention and the horse actually gets to chomp on the carrot, only to find it’s plastic. No nourishment. All a big con game. Sometimes we have to get the goals we’ve killed ourselves to get only to find it was one big plastic carrot. Because that’s the wake up call, often. I know it’s happened to me. I remember chasing this dream of being a highly successful speaker, author and thought leader. I got there. I got the accolades, the standing ovations, but it all felt not worth it. I couldn’t keep going. I went on the quintessential journey of letting everything go in my life, letting it all fall way, going back to nothing, and just travelled the world, ending up in the far east meditating, doing yoga, writing novels, studying dance, song, theatre, poetry, doing nothing that would be considered useful or practical. I came back completely renewed and ready to do my work from an entirely different place, doing it for the inner or intrinsic reward versus the external or extrinsic rewards that drove me before. Maybe you’ve gone on a similar journey, maybe like me, you’ve done that journey more than once, because it’s easy to get caught up in the plastic carrot on the stick game again if you’re not careful. It’s the sea you swim in, it might be the game being played by so many around you.
As I’ve said on other episodes, it’s that false illusion that you must be happy all the time, and that you can buy that happiness. To be happy and secure comes from an external source like money in the bank, a house, car, successful business, well-educated children, and people that approve of you. People will sell their soul over and over again for these external sources of fulfillment. I would go so far as to say that the game of life is really about recognizing traps like that, and avoiding them, of living from a place of internal abundance, being a light unto yourself, serving a higher purpose. When you figure that out and integrate that learning, that’s when everything changes. No more hamster wheel, no more chasing the carrot.
That’s not to say that buying that pair of shoes or that new jacket, doesn’t make you feel better. Or getting likes on your post, or positive feedback from people, or finishing that task by the deadline or get that contract. It does give you that dopamine hit, that chemical feeling that says, Oh, wow, I feel good about myself. But if that’s the only way you can ever feel good about yourself, then you are trapped. Ask yourself this, can you still feel good about yourself when you cannot buy new things, when no one likes your post, when you get negative feedback, when you cannot or do not finish the task by the deadline, when you lose that contract especially when you were counting on that income. That’s the real mastery. Will you still have your own back, will you still have an inner sense of worth or will you beat yourself up, make yourself miserable? It’s always based on your thoughts. How you choose to treat yourself when the going gets challenging that really counts. And the good news is that it’s all in your control. It’s all based on where you choose to focus your attention.
All that said, many of those programs that run our lives are based in the subconscious, below our awareness, and many of us don’t know how to shift them. All the affirmations, journaling, coaching processes in the world don’t seem to make a difference. That’s because there’s likely stuck emotional trauma, and not just your trauma, but the trauma of the collective human consciousness. But it IS possible to remove it. You’ve probably even done it before.
Have you ever had a time in your life when you just let yourself have a big emotional outlet, where you felt so trapped, so much inner conflict that at some point you let everything fall apart? Most of us have. And if you remember back, did that mark the beginning of a big turnaround in your life? If so, tap into the story, or what we call the “mindstory” where you let yourself escape from trapped energy in your mind, and let yourself be free again.
In remembering when you did that before you can access your ability to do it again now. Because you might now need to break free from the Tyrant Mind so you can flourish, so your higher mind is free to create the life, the lifestyle and the world of your choosing, rather than stay trapped chasing false goals.
Because a society built around chasing false goals, false dreams, unsustainable realities is a form of insanity. In other words, all the meditation, affirmations, lemon water, supplements, journaling in the world just end up being a bandaid for something deeper. We need to address the systems and infrastructures in our minds, and therefore, in the mind of the collective that is creating the problem in the first place. There are many to solve, but I believe focusing in on the removal of the Tyrant Mind is a good place to start. And changing the intention of that inner authority to one of benevolence and empowerment creates a ripple effect in the world. It’s ironic seeing people protesting, blaming, criticizing others and external realities, and meanwhile they’re bullying themselves mercilessly. Start at home first. In fact, when I did my first coach training eons ago, I remember learning that people who are hypercritical of others are usually 10x as critical to themselves, but usually at the subconscious level. They might not admit that, but people who need to rage at externals, are usually also bullying themselves in nasty ways. That’s not to say you shouldn’t be a warrior of truth, laying down boundaries, standing up for your rights, but sometimes people think their making a difference by pointing out flaws and issues around them, and they’re just painting themselves into a corner of victimhood, disempowering themselves and entrenching themselves in a system that blocks their forward movement.
But most people have probably experienced a time when they went from fighting with reality, pushing and bullying themselves, and then at some point, stopping. Just putting down their weapons, laying down the sword, stopping the bullying, stopping the pushing, and letting themselves just process the hurt of that way of living, and letting themselves heal. Then, it’s like the sun comes out again. The stress levels go down, and the good hormones come up, and magic starts to show up. Resources just start flowing. And it’s the weirdest thing ever. It’s the Law of Reciprocity in effect, right? Have you own back and Life or The Universe starts to have your back. If you don’t have your own back, then you block all the resources of life. The game of money starts to change, the game of relationships, the game of resources, all are mirrored by how you treat yourself. You break out of the victim, villain hero triangle within yourself. That’s a trap of the mind where you bully yourself, feel victimized by it, and try to rescue yourself by changing external circumstances. When you rise above all that and realize you’re playing all the roles yourself, then you can simply create a life based on full connection to the abundant flow of Life.
So give yourself the space to see what’s true or not for yourself, what’s a right use of your focus and energy and what’s a false path. You can only do that when you take the pressure off and let yourself just be. And it can happen in a minute, just that choice to pause for a minute.
This podcast episode, by the way, is based on our book, MindStory Inner Coach. If you’d like more tools like this, for a limited time we’re offering this book for free on our website: MindStoryAcademy.com. You’ll also see the free book link in the show notes. Along with the book, you also get two short guided audios that are called neuro-blueprints. They help you develop life habits that empower you.
One is called how to end self sabotage, it’s one you would use at night. The other is called your hero’s journey, which is about reframing the challenges of your life in terms of a mythic adventure and how those challenges have forged you in the fire of wisdom to now help others. Sometimes that’s hard to see until you do a process like this. And this is a version you would do in the morning. These take chapters 2 and 10 of the book to a much deeper level. All together, the audios and the book come to $94 but you can get them free right now.
So that’s it for today…Do post a review of this podcast if you like it – on iTunes or youTube or wherever you listen. It makes a big difference to helping others find out about it.
I hope that was helpful. Until next time, I’m Carla Rieger, thanks for listening.